Unsolicited Advice: How to Discern What Serves You
Unsolicited Advice: How to Discern What Serves You
Hello, Amazing Amazon,
Today, is about something every woman or person will encounter sooner or later: unsolicited advice.
At some point in your personal or professional journey, someone will offer you advice you didn’t ask for. Many times, it comes from a good place—mentors, family members, friends— people who genuinely care about your growth. Other times, it comes from their own projections, fears, or limited perspectives about your potential.
So, the real question becomes:
- How do you discern which unsolicited advice you should listen to?
- How do you decide what to ignore, even when it’s well-meaning?
Let me share a personal story:
Some years ago, I was at a crossroad, trying to find the right path for my career. During this period of transition, someone I respected suggested that I consider taking a teaching job. Now, teaching wasn’t foreign to me; in fact, I loved it but only in a specific environment.
The truth was, I knew deep inside that the conventional school setting was not aligned with who I was becoming. As much as I appreciated the suggestion, I had enough self-awareness to say a polite but firm No. I wasn’t even tempted to apply, because I had clarity about where I was headed.
Fast forward a few months later, another mentor; someone who truly understood my journey suggested applying for a short-term position to explore a new path. This advice aligned with my evolving vision and even though it was unsolicited, it felt like a divine confirmation. I took it, and I’m incredibly grateful I did because it opened doors I hadn’t even imagined yet.
Here's what I learned and what I want you to take away:
- Know Yourself Deeply
Self-awareness is your first filter.
When you have taken the time to know your values, strengths, passions, and dreams, you become less swayed by every opinion. You know what feels right for your spirit and what doesn’t. Identity discovery grounds you in your truth.
🖊️“When you know who you are, you won’t allow who you’re not to define you.”
- Separate the Advice from the Emotion
Sometimes advice is wrapped in emotion: fear, urgency, concern. Don’t absorb the emotion; sift through to find if there’s any wisdom worth considering. Strip it down: “Is there anything here that aligns with my goals?” If yes, reflect on it. If no, release it without guilt.
- Check for Alignment, Not Just Good Intentions
Not all good intentions equal good directions.
Ask yourself:
- Does this advice support the future I am building?
- Does it stretch me toward my potential or shrink me into fear?
- Does it resonate with my spirit or cause confusion and discomfort?
If it resonates, explore it. If it doesn’t, bless it and let it go.
A quick tip: Trust your gut. Your inner compass is wiser than you think.
- Embrace the Wisdom, Release the Pressure
Even unsolicited advice that doesn’t apply to you might hold a mirror to your journey. Use it as an opportunity for reflection, but don’t feel pressured to act on everything. You are allowed to be selective about what you receive.
“You do not have to accept every gift offered to you; including advice.”
Dear emerging female leader, unsolicited advice is part of life. As you grow in leadership, more people will have opinions about your journey. Some advice will move you forward; others will attempt to limit you.
The key is knowing who you are and where you are going.
Here’s my invitation to you today:
- Strengthen your self-awareness.
- Listen, but don’t lose yourself.
- Trust your instincts.
You are not obligated to take every piece of advice—even if it comes from someone you admire.
Your life. Your race. Your rules.
I would love to hear your thoughts: How have you navigated unsolicited advice in your leadership journey? Share with me in the comments. Let’s grow together.
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